Man I Miss This Guy

I hate to be a copycat but...this is pretty important. Please watch, then share. Wake up, America.

Been A Long Time Since I Rock and Roll(ed)

Well, it's been a long time since I posted on here anyway. Someone close to me reminded me that maybe I should, and considering I've got a fair amount of time on my hands right now - why the hell not.

I was kind of grappling with where to begin and simplified it for myself by deciding to start in the here and now. I can do some backfill or whathaveyou as I go along.

Where I am right now is at home with my foot in some sort of bandage / cast contraption. That's been the position for me for the past week and a half or so.

Something interesting happen, you ask? Skateboard crash? Left roundhouse to a doorframe while drunkenly describing a move out of Kung Fu Panda? Dropped the iron on my foot?

Newp, newp and newp. Although that second one could have happened.

Somehow a vein in the middle of my foot weakened, bulged out and began to accumulate clotted blood not unlike say...a water balloon slowly filling. Only much, much more painful (yes I know - and gross - although it was deep enough to not be visible).

No idea how that happened; it's not exactly a common happening. Thankfully the surgeon who worked on me actually did the same procedure a few months beforehand, so it's not so rare that she was looking at diagrams in dusty medical journals on how to handle the situation at hand. Foot, rather.

This thing had been bugging me literally for years, always just getting a bit more uncomfortable over time. Finally I realized that I couldn't chase down my son should I really need to - ok not safe. He's not prone to running off into traffic (knock on wood), however should the situation arise I really need to be able to sprint. Speaking of running, I was running 5 miles every other day before this prevented me from doing so. The move, new job, etc. really allowed me to just sort of grin and bear it for a while until it really became too much.

So...as you may have surmised from me talking about the bandaged foot and the surgeon and the use of past tense etc. that I went and had it taken care of. Finally.

Correct! That I did, and I can say I couldn't be more glad to have done so. The whole thing was a trip. I have to say in the days leading up to it I was pretty nervous. Not to the point of losing sleep, but just knowing that it's coming is sort of like waiting for Santa to come on Christmas morning, only he's got a knife and he's going for your foot.

On the day of my family took me to the hospital and got me started in on the whole pre-op. Lots of waiting, getting checked out, asked a lot of the same questions (including "which foot are we working on today"), etc. On the same questions thing - it's reassuring to know that the odds of someone having the wrong body part worked on in this particular institution are slim to none.

On to the "meditation room" which is a polite way of putting it, don't you think?

After an hour or so of meditation, my name was called and I was taken to a hospital bed and ordered to strip and put on a backless dress. I know it's a joke that's older than complaining about airline food but come on, in this age of miraculous technology there's got to be some sort of self adjusting, form fitting micro fiber intelligent fabric that will keep you from having to wear a backless dress in front of a whole bunch of strangers.

On the bed for a while waiting some more. Long enough to snooze for an hour or so. I have to say that I was a lot calmer about the whole thing than I imagined I would be. When my time came I knew that I was going to have that moment of being wheeled down the hallway, looking up at the ceiling tiles and the lights and wondering what was next. So I decided to sit up and see where we were headed rather than stare at the fucking ceiling.

Down through the hall, past some fairly public places then through a not so public door that led to the anesthesia prep area. More questions, and some "hey this is going to happen soon" type of prep taking place. The person responsible for placing the EKG hookups onto the patients was working on that on an elderly woman next to me. He called her "Mr. Collins", to which she got quite indignant. She did have a deep voice and a very short haircut, so - meh. She did say that it had happened a bunch that day. She calmed down and he headed my way to hook up the EKG.

She kept going in his absence and we both shared a look. He whispered "She looks like a man," and shrugged. Having a laugh 15 minutes before surgery, this is a good thing.

The anesthesiologist came by for more questions, then the tech who would actually be putting me under (who was taken quite aback by my enormous tonsils), then my surgeon.

She's a really sweet little lady, and she calmly checked me out and marked up my foot, asking the ever present question beforehand "so which foot are we working on?". Off she went, and then a few minutes before go time.

Ok so this is where I felt pretty alone for a bit, but again I never felt scared. More than anything I felt a surreal sort of calm and even a "let's get this show on the road" kind of feeling.

Soon enough I was wheeled into the operating room. I have to say I wasn't sure what to expect. It was a lot bigger than I imagined. It looked a lot like what I would imagine the room would look like should I ever get abducted by aliens and examined (and by examined I mean the ubiquitous anal probe). I had to scoot off the bed and onto the operating table, which was considerably narrower than I imagined. The edges of my shoulders hung off the edge. I had to scoot down a bit to make sure my feet hung off the edge for easy access.

Looking back, I'd be curious how on earth they work on the bottom of your foot - do they ratchet your leg back so the can go top down, or do they go in with it hanging of the edge of the bed? I think I'll ask in my follow up tomorrow.

In my mind I knew that it would happen rapidly and that they'd start putting me under almost immediately but still I was at that last second still thinking "oh shit, already?". After securing me on the bed (hey who needs a 200 pound dude falling off mid-surgery?), the cheeky anesthesia tech put the mask to me.

I joked around with her that I was expecting some sort of scent like bubblegum or new car smell. Just for kids, she says. I said I'd be putting that one in the suggestion box, adults should get equal treatment.

I want mint flavored sleep, dammit!

I think I was taking a bit longer than normal because she then said "take big deep breaths". Okey dokey then. It did have a little bit of a smell; some was condensing on the mask. It smelled / tasted vaguely like almost sour apple juice.

I kept going and she joked, "Um, I can give you nitrous..." I remember laughing and then not so much a "lights out" - but I do not remember anything after that other than waking up.

I woke up much groggier than after say - drinking til lights out at my best friend's wedding reception. That made me realize that I have plenty of experience putting myself out...

I moved my head up to look around, which dislodged the oxygen mask. It fell to the floor and I considered going after it briefly. I guessed that they didn't strap it on because I was breathing fine on my own and hey wait a minute, where the hell am I anyway? Then the headache kicked in and I didn't care so much anymore. I noticed the clock and realized that a couple of hours had gone by. Looking around, I was one of many in various states of post operative recovery.

The woman next to me apparently did not have a successful surgery; she still had an arterial clot near her hand and they matter-of-factly informed her that either way they went about it there was a chance she could lose her hand.

That made my headache seem not so important.

However, shortly after that my foot did decide to wake up and say, "HI!". And then "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!". And then it really started to hurt like a motherfucker. I looked around like someone trying to find a waiter because they're out of bread and really want some more to go along with the delicious salad course. I noticed a nurse station and waved a bit.

A man came over and checked my vitals and spotted the mask on the floor. He put it aside and asked me how I was doing pain wise. I told him that ye olde foote was giving an 8 on a 10 scale, with occasional jaunts into 9 territory, possibility of scattered 10s later on.

He had a shot ready and administered it there, asking me to wait a few minutes.

I waited and when he came back I told him that same same. He went to the cabinet to fetch a pail of morphine, came back did the deed and told me to wait again.

NOTHING.

Time out. What? Morphine. You know, the miracle pain killer? Wtf is wrong with me that morphine doesn't do shit? I'm like that rhino on "Mutual of Omaha: Wild Kingdom" that just kind of snorts after taking a few tranq darts to the face.

I motion my man over and tell him that I am not impressed. Not only am I not impressed, it feels like perhaps the stitches are made of magnesium and some clever elf has decided to set them on fire.

He resolutely marches back to the cabinet and returns with a shot. "Hydrocodone, and an anti nausea agent. Sometimes it makes people seasick."

I can see why (sort of, through my now blurred vision). "How's your pain now?", he asked rhetorically.

"It's um, taken care of," I said, leaning back and holding on to the bed for dear life.

Off he went, with me making sure that I didn't float away. Where were those straps when I really needed them? It settled down and not long after that I started getting antsy. I felt fine and wanted to get the fuck out of there. I hadn't eaten for 22 hours, not to mention I didn't really want to hear any more updates on other people's conditions that would make me feel guilty for having a vital sign chart that is the medical equivalent of sex on the beach.

I let the pusher man know I was ready and they started making accomodations. Another hallway run, this time with the ceiling tiles in full view. Ahhh, what the fuck - you're seeing em on the way out - that's a good sign, right? Just so long as you don't go in there like you don't give a shit. Werd.

Back out to the family, who looked pretty happy to see me and I surely was happy to see them. They immediately started talking food. That's my family (wipes a tear away)...it's a miracle we're not all a hell of a lot bigger let me tell ya.

It gets a lot less surreal from there, save for that first trip up the stairs. Note to self (and all you other folks out there that may read this): if you are wondering if you should bust your ass in the gym before going in for surgery? Unless your doctor says no, make it happen. I can do the stairs pretty easily now as I'm not loaded up with 6 kinds of pain killers and have days instead of hours between me and the surgery. Still...as my friends at Nike would surely love to hear me say...just do it.

Until next time, which will be much sooner than the last round.

PNAC Week In Review

Otherwise known (hopefully) as the beginning of the end.

Current PNAC member and World Bank head Paul Wolfowitz is under fire for corruption - he is currently being asked to step down from his role. Good job, Paul. Your call for moral leadership in a New American Century is clearly being carried out from - well someplace else besides your office or the corrupt think tank known as the Project for a New American Century.

In other PNAC news, current PNAC member and Vice President of the United States of America Dick Cheney has had some papers served to him in the halls of Congress. The President's "attack dog" may end up being put on a leash after all.

In related PNAC news, as their agenda from the get go was to secure a foothold in the Middle East through whatever means, Democrats in Congress feel that they can win the Iraq vote. This includes a timetable for withdrawal.

Wow, that's rough and it's only Wednesday! Apparently the vast right wing conspiracy just can't seem to stay clean and sober.

Other scandal ridden members of PNAC are:

Karl Rove
Richard Armitage
"Scooter" Libby
Donald Rumsfeld
and, last but not least - the 43rd President of these United States...

George W. Bush

Other PNAC members in the Bush administration are:

Name	Department	Title	Remarks
Elliott Abrams	National Security Council	Representative for Middle Eastern Affairs	President of the Ethics and Public Policy Center
Richard Armitage	Department of State (2001-2005)	Deputy Secretary of State	Disclosed Valerie Plame's identity (Plamegate scandal).
John R. Bolton	Department of State	U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations	Previously served as Undersecretary for Arms Control and International Security Affairs in the first administration of GWB.
Richard Cheney	Bush Administration	Vice President
Seth Cropsey	Voice of America	Director of the International Broadcasting Bureau
Paula Dobriansky	Department of State	Undersecretary of State for Global Affairs
Francis Fukuyama	President's Council on Bioethics	Council Member	Professor of International Political Economy at Johns Hopkins University
Bruce Jackson	U.S. Committee on NATO	President	Former Lockheed Martin VP for Strategy & Planning[22]
Zalmay Khalilzad	U.S. Embassy Baghdad, Iraq	U.S. Ambassador to Iraq	Previously served as U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan from November 2003 to June 2005
I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby	Bush Administration (2001-2005)	Chief of Staff for the Vice President	Resigned October 28, 2005. On March 6, 2007, Libby was found guilty on two counts of perjury, one of obstruction of justice, and one of making false statements to the FBI.
Peter W. Rodman	Department of Defense	Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security
Donald Rumsfeld	Department of Defense (2001-2006)	Secretary of Defense	Former Chairman of the Board of Gilead Sciences, the firm that developed Tamiflu® Resigned from office December 15, 2006
Randy Scheunemann	U.S. Committee on NATO, Project on Transitional Democracies, International Republican Institute	Member	Founded the Committee for the Liberation of Iraq.
Paul Wolfowitz	Department of Defense (2001-2005)	Deputy Secretary of Defense	Became President of the World Bank in 2005
Dov S. Zakheim	Department of Defense	Comptroller	Former V.P. of System Planning Corporation[23]
Robert B. Zoellick	Department of State	Deputy Secretary of State	Office of the United States Trade Representative (2001-2005);

Will the last PNAC member that leaves the administration please turn out the lights.

Kthxbye.

Vermont Senators Call for Impeachment

In a move that may have far reaching repercussions or may just be ignored, the vote was cast.

I don't know about you, but I've had about enough of the PNAC administration.

Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Rights DO Make a Left

This is one of the first lessons you learn living in San Francisco, where the "no left turn" sign is more common than pigeons or street performers.

Once you get over that hump (you have to learn your way around sooner or later!) you're in good shape. It's a small city, in relative terms. While it has a cohesive feel (SF is SF is SF), it's also like a series of small towns with disjointed roads, maniacal bus drivers, suicidal jaywalkers and huge hills - so even after living here for a while finding your way around can be a challenge.

It's a multitextured city. For instance, I live out in what is called the Sunset District. The Sunset is made up mostly of row houses, most of which were built in the 30s and 40s. It's very gently sloped, has a very suburban feel, and is laid out in a near perfect grid. It has a very high Asian population, but is also peopled by quite a few "white" folk and a host of other ethnicities. It's very close to the ocean, the zoo, Golden Gate Park, a huge shopping mall, and lots of little restaurants, neighborhood bars and delis.

South of Market (SoMa), on the other hand, is densely populated with high rise condos. It's right next to down town, which is densely populated with high rise office buildings. This area is also relatively flat. It has an upbeat yet hyperactive feel to it, with young folks making up the bulk of the population.

We stayed in that area in corporate housing for the first month after moving here. It was culture shock coming from a sleepy beach town to essentially downtown San Francisco. In a way, it was a really good thing in that it forced us to get over the hump of living in a big town in very short order.

Then there's Noe Valley. It's so hilly and steep that it is almost comical. At the same time, there are stunning views in every direction, amazing Victorian era homes, cool little neighborhood restaurants, and that can't-put-your-finger on it good vibe that you get in lots of areas of SF.

This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of this town.

I love it!

I work up by the Presidio, which is at the northeastern edge of town. From our offices we can see the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, the Palace of Fine Arts and downtown. It's beyond stunning, and I can't believe I'm as priveledged as I am to be there.

The neighborhood within easy walking distance on Chestnut Street is charming as hell. When I venture that way for lunch, there's everything from pizza to Peruvian, bistro to buffet, sushi to sandwiches...

And so far not a one has disappointed. Next up I'll write a whole deal on the sushi place we went to in that neighborhood recently.

Billed by a coworker as the "best sushi ever" - a bold statement indeed. Wellllllll, I went in a skeptic and came out a believer. Holy crap. Best. Sushi. Ever.

Something Sacred

Well, it's been quite a while since I've had the time or opportunity to post up here. I think now I should be able to at least do this once a week.

I've been settling in at my new job, and things are busy as hell but going very well.

As Christmas approaches, I have been having many thoughts about Christmas - past and present. I was going to do a diatribe about the commercialization of Christmas and the gigantic shopping frenzy, but really why bother. It is what it is, I just don't buy into it.

I know something of the roots of Christmas, and why it is during the time of year it is. Notice that the winter solstice just occurred.

Without going a whole lot deeper than that, this time of year feels like a time that bears celebration, as well as reflection. Maybe it's just bound into who we are as a people, maybe as a species. Digging in and hibernating a bit feels right.

It seems necessary to take some time out from life and reflect on what life is, or more importantly what makes life sacred. I think maybe that's what bothers me about the orgy of shopping that gets so much attention during Christmas in America. It tends to obscure a lot of what makes Christmas special. It can (dare I say should be?) be a time to share, a time to reflect, a time to appreciate life.

Whatever it is that you celebrate this time of year, enjoy it. Make sure to take a step back and enjoy what you've got. Reflect on something sacred - whatever that may be.